Christ Vs Christians

The definition of “Christian” apparently is a big subject. Many Out of the box Christians, or “free Believers” or whatever you want to call them have taken a liking to the idea of not calling one’s self a “Christian” anymore. Without fail every time I’ve seen anyone say something to the affect of, “I’m not a Christian anymore; I’m going to follow Jesus.”  A Christian comes along and lets us know “Christian” means follower of Christ and you can’t follow Christ without using the name “Christian” because it means follower of Christ. Whatever. I’m not sure if they think they are enlightening us and showing us how stupid we are for using the wrong words, or if they truly don’t get the point we are trying to make. It’s kind of a play on words. We know what “Christian” means, but “Christian” has changed meanings over the years to mean something other than “Follower of Christ”. Since so many Christians act a certain way Christians are perceived to be a certain way and some wish to differentiate between the stereotype that has become “Christian” and “Follower of Christ” as it were. It is a “taking back” of the original meaning in a sense. 2000 years ago people saw these other people acting like Christ did and called them, “Christians”. Now people see others acting like “Christians” act and call them Christians. Others like me want to be seen as acting like Christ, not Christians. And believe me they are different. I know some will protest but to me Christians and Jesus often don’t look alike at all. Christians seem to think that if they believe all the right theology that they are Christians. This is like a white American professor knowing everything there is to know about Africans and their life. Or a travel agent knowing the ins and outs about a country but has never been there.  Christians read the Bible and believe it, but don’t necessarily go there or become it. They don’t become something simply because they know about it. You can know about Jesus and not become like him. Christians can read that and say “Amen!” I’ve heard the old sermon illustration, “You can live in a garage but that don’t make you a car!” They will see that and agree wholeheartedly yet they don’t ever apply it to themselves. Jesus could point a finger straight at them and yell, “Pharisees! Hypocrites! White washed tombs!” and they would nod in agreement thinking, “That’s telling them Jesus… How dare they be so arrogant and judgmental?” Those same kinds of people will read my accusations and accuse me of being arrogant and judgmental. Now I just don’t care. My hope is someone will read my writings and it will “strike a chord” as it were. It will resonate with them and maybe they will be free as well. If you read these things and you think I’m a heretic then my writings are not for you I guess. But as it is in many of my writings, I digress.

Religion

When I read about the historical Christ He is doing everything but what the established religious institutions wanted. Christians made up their own religious construct, and then call whoever doesn’t line up with the new order a heretic, even if the heretic is trying to be more like Jesus. If Jesus were here I think he’d be accused of being a heretic too…Christians seem to think because they are being religious for Jesus that they are doing it right. They don’t see that being religious in general goes against what Christ represents. Christ came as “Emmanuel”, God with us. Not bringing us to Christ. The incarnation was about God coming to us to reconcile Himself to us. Not us following a bunch of rules to make us righteous for God to love us. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” We don’t have to try and make it to God, God comes to us. That is religion, and that is what Christ came to demolish. Some Christians don’t seem to make the connection. Just because they are different made up rules than the ancient Jews had, doesn’t make them any less made up.

Sins and the Sinners who sin them…

How do Christians treat sin, or sinners for that matter? They will say, “the Bible says it is a sin so the sinner must be condemned”. They “call a sin a sin” and that settles it. It is odd how they can take the Bible and apply it however they want. I might agree with them on what is a sin, but not how to handle it. If there were a spider on someone would you smack them in the face with a baseball bat till the spider was dead, or would you gently flick it off? If someone had cancer would you stab at them and dig it out with a knife till it was gone or would you carefully and methodically use chemotherapy over an extended period of time until they were healthy? Would you yell at someone and tell them they will burn in hell for all eternity if they don’t straighten up and fly right or would you become their friend and confidant until they respect you enough to listen to your heart? How did Jesus handle sin and the sinner? In the prodigal son He tells us of a father that loves a son even when he screws up. Even when he leaves the family and wishes for his father dead he loves him and waits for him to return. The father doesn’t love the son only after he repents and returns, he loves him continuously and unconditionally. Love precedes the repentance. Not the other way around. Christians might say, “Christ takes you as you are” but they don’t mean it. They say, “He loves you as you are but He also loves you too much to leave you as you are.” Then they proceed to browbeat them until they straighten up. They use manipulation and guilt till they are “righteous” like them. Jesus met the woman caught in adultery. According to the law she should have been stoned. Even according to Jesus own “rule” of, “cast the first stone” she could have been killed. Jesus didn’t sin and He stillHeH

didn’t condemn her.  He showed he love after she had sinned and offered forgiveness. We don’t even know if she took him up on the offer. She left, but who knows if she actually, “went and sinned no more.”? Jesus gives us the choice in the hope that we will realize the love He has for us and comes back. When Adam and Eve sinned God could have started over by killing them and trying again until humans “got it right”. Instead he lets us go in our sin and loves us until we get the chance to “come back”. He waits until He can greet the lost son with tears in His eyes. He comes running so we won’t have to hurt a second longer than we have to. Christians want to make sure you realize what you’ve done before you get the party. Force you to understand the greatness of your sin before God will love you again. And that’s the people that make it in! The others such as the homosexuals are picketed and hated. Even if Christians say they don’t hate. Love looks like hatred when you are telling them they will burn in hell for all eternity. When Jesus showed love it looks like forgiveness and compassion.  What if Christ treated you, the sinner, like most Christians treat sinners they think are below them? We would have never made it in. We were the loser on the outside of the club until someone had compassion and signed us in. They saw your potential and let you into the group, and after you’re in you tell others how they aren’t good enough to be in the group like you. You guard the doors to the clubhouse so no riffraff get in. All the while you are still no better than you were before you got in. You still smell of sulfur. You are the borrower whose debt are forgiven yet does not forgive the debts owed to you.

The Rules

The Pharisees followed “the oral torah” which boils down to traditions people made up. They may or may not have been bad traditions, but you cannot lift a tradition up above all else. You can’t make a tradition a rule. Traditions are there to enjoy something, not to inflict another rule on people. When a tradition becomes a burden it should be changed or discarded. Christians have traditions filling their churches and burden others with their execution. They “tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” They inflict these rules until they are known for it and people never want to go to them. Jesus takes heavy burdens off of people.

Unpredictable

I know not all Christians are Pharisees but I think there are more than most Christians think. I pray more Christians would see the radical Jesus in the Bible and be inspired. Again.  The Jesus we see in the church has been made up. Jesus is not the tame, rule follower they would like you to see.  Jesus is wild. Jesus cannot be tamed. Jesus never did anything they expected. He spit in eyes, he calmed seas, and he forgave sins. People tried to kill Him for the things he preached, yet He escaped. Christ could have gotten away from His executioners but instead he turns around and sacrifices himself and asks for them to be forgiven. He died and came back.  He always did the unexpected. Christians are predictable, Christ was not. I want to be unpredictable. I want to forgive when I shouldn’t. I want to love when I should hate. I want to bless when I should judge. I want to live when I should die. I want to die when I should live…

Nutshell

What I believe in a nutshell…

I had another fight with my father. It’s happened so many times lately I decided to write down a little statement. Often opinions are misconstrued and not stated clearly so I end up looking like a heretic. Maybe I am… Often I share things with others before I have straightened it out in my head. Or a question I pose comes out in less of a question and more of a statement. To clarify, my learning process involves asking questions to make myself think. If anyone else hears them it seems to them like I believe certain things, which results in my father telling my family that I don’t believe in the Bible and that staplers are God. Gossip is an evil thing. So this is my way of stopping it. This little page is not the entirety of my beliefs of course, but it is enough to settle some things and explain why I have certain positions. Even if someone doesn’t agree with me I should hope they could respect my conclusions a little more. As I always say I am not arrogant enough to think I have everything figured out so if someone reads this or anything else I write and thinks I am wrong I welcome discussion. I may or may not change my position but regardless I love information. Thanks for reading and please let me know your opinions on things!

The Bible and Truth

I believe the Bible was written by several authors through several hundred years and then put together by several people hundreds of years later. I believe that the collaboration of that many people over that long of a period of time has got to result in problems. I can especially see problems with picking of the books in the Bible. Ordinary men, not men specifically chosen by God, picked the books that would be included in the cannon. There are books left out that almost made it in. How do we know the right ones made it in? I am not saying God did not have a hand in writing the books in the Bible.  I am not saying the Bible does not contain truth. I am not saying the Bible is false. I am not saying the Bible contains mistakes. I am saying there could be. Then again there might not be.

I believe that too many Christians focus on the Bible above all else; above people, above love, above God. The way I look at the Bible is it is helpful, it contains truth, it contains the Words of God, but it is not God.  If something in the Bible is found to be historically inaccurate for instance, that does not shake my faith in God. I think when people call the Bible “The inerrant Word of God” They are putting it on a pedestal it was not meant to be on. If there ever was anything found inaccurate people’s faith might be shaken because they have put their faith in a book, not in a person.   I believe the Bible is far more than “just a book” as I’ve been accused of believing. I simply don’t want to elevate the book over what it points to.

I believe there is truth everywhere, this doesn’t not mean that I think everything is true. I am not saying that I believe truth is relative. I think too many Christians think they have the corner on truth. Everything I believe is because I learned things from different places. If I learn more about a certain subject I may change my opinion but it still will come from the aspect of a Christian because I have a relationship with Christ. I have faith. In saying that, I am secure enough to learn things from those who might not be Christian. I believe God can reveal truths to anyone and therefore truth can be anywhere. In a book or a movie or a Buddhist. Just because someone is not a Christian doesn’t mean we can’t learn something about God from them. I have learned things from Protestants and Catholics. From people out of church and inside. From Christians and Atheists. Men and Women. Black and White. We all have different perspectives because we have different lives. Why can’t we look for the truth in everything instead of ignoring people because they don’t agree with us theologically? How can we learn anything new if we only learn from those who believe exactly as we do?

Homosexuality

I believe homosexuality is probably wrong. I say probably because I have heard the arguments on why some think it is not a sin. To me it seems they are stretching things and they have not convinced me. I have been wrong before and I am not arrogant enough to think I know everything about an issue so I will say as of right now I believe it is still a sin. I do however think it is just as bad as any number of sins Christians commit every day. Christians seem to think homosexuality is the most horrible sin and the rest are forgivable. Christ never mentioned homosexuality which makes me think. Homosexuality is mentioned in the Bible but it is relatively brief. Other sins are mentioned more frequently and not given as much spotlight in modern Christianity, probably because Christians break those more often. Christians seem to think they are safe to attack the “pagan” homosexuals and not attack their own. In my honest opinion we should stop focusing on changing the laws and get out there and love people. If God is in us and we pour our lives into people, then there will be change.

Church Buildings and Services

After I found out that there were many things in the modern institutional church that were not founded on the Bible I was happy to leave. Besides all the reasons I found, it is boring and a waste of time. There are many traditions and teachings not found in the Bible which leads me to believe that the church is not what Christ intended. I find the Bible tells us to have Christian friends but nowhere does it command to go to a specific building made specifically for worship on a certain day. People started adopting different routines and traditions until it became our modern day interpretation of church. This does not seem like a command to “go to church”, it looks like a habit.  To think that one is sinning by not attending one of these manmade institutions is absurd.  One major reason that I left it that I found there were no Christian buildings specific for worship for hundreds of years. Were they sinning by not going to “church”? Early Christians who were closest to the disciples and Jesus lived their Christianity everywhere they went. They were the church and didn’t need a set aside building to pour money into. If you want to worship by going to a building go right ahead. For me there are too many things I have problems with. One thing I would hope that church goers would change is the amount of time put into this system. If it is there to help you with your Christian life it should push you to share your life and love other people. It shouldn’t suck your time effort and money until you can’t be effective anymore. Do you go to several meetings and practices and services a week until you don’t have time for your neighbors? Do you give so much money at church that you can’t support the poor in your neighborhood? Are you so tired from preparing for a class that you can’t be bothered with friends and family? That was how it was for me and I was sickened by it. That’s not what Christianity looks like to me.

Tithes

After actually studying the Bible and tithes I find it really hard to believe the people that tell me we should. There are so many reasons why Christians should not tithe I could write a book. People already have so I won’t but I will put down a couple things that struck me. Tithing was not practiced in the “church” for over seven century’s.  If Jesus taught his disciples to tithe wouldn’t it be instituted from the beginning and not tacked on 700 years later? Besides this if you look at the true Jewish tithing system you’ll realize it was the taxation system for the Jews. This was political not just religious. God was telling the Jews how to take care of their poor among other things. It was not a way to pay pastors or build buildings. The original tithe also was not required from anyone that wasn’t a farmer or rancher.  If you didn’t raise or grow anything you didn’t give. Also the poor weren’t required to give. It would be stupid to require them to give when the whole purpose of the tithe was to support them. I know some people will read these reasons and say that they still will tithe for a guideline and that’s fine. It’s not bad necessarily, but what is bad is when churches make obligations on people to give when they might not be able to. There are people preaching that God will curse those who don’t tithe. This is a lie that hurts people. I am not saying that giving is bad. In fact New Testament giving is harder than tithing. Please give to people and ministries that need it, just don’t give because you think God will strike you down if you don’t.

Pacifism

I Know things in the world are bad. I know there are bad people doing bad things to people. How the world and the governments handle these problems are not really our problem. Things will sort out. If anything we should work for, “Thy Kingdom come” who is called, “The Prince of Peace” not “God of War”. Christ didn’t tell people to go into government to change laws. He did call people to change hearts. I don’t think I am going to picket the wars in this world but I am not going to glorify violence. The government can make whatever choices it wants, the government is not a Christian. I do however have a problem with Christians joining in and supporting war and violence. I have a problem with churches promoting a system of violence and greed and calling it righteous because of political affiliation. Jesus called us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate you. I have a problem supporting any war after hearing my savior say that.

Pastors

The Bible has the word “Pastor” occurring once or twice depending on the translation. It doesn’t ever lay out what a pastor really is supposed to do. The way it seems to talk about it is a function not a position. What I mean is that the Bible says there are people that have the gift of helping people out like a shepherd helps out sheep. There is guidance and leading but it doesn’t say it is an office and we should follow them as Jesus’ proxy. Jesus is our shepherd and it says so many times in the Bible. Jesus never set up all these offices for us to follow; he set Himself up for us to follow. Why would he go to all that trouble of living on earth and dying to be our savior and leader if he was just going to set up some hierarchy of men to lead us anyways? I believe pastors and leaders should exist but not as a title and with a paycheck. If you read the New Testament without the modern bias you’ll see it was lived out like a relationship. They were a bunch of people who believed in Jesus and got together and lived it out. They didn’t build a bunch of buildings and start paying a staff and hunkering down for the rest of their lives. Additionally, pastors are basically paid Christians. They are doing what the body of Christ is meant to do. We pay someone to be a Christian for us and it is killing them.

Rules

I believe that God gave the Jews a whole bunch of rules in the Old Testament because He was setting up his nation. These rules should not be what modern day individuals set their lives to. Christians sometimes seem to think that because it is in the Bible it has to be obeyed. There are things in the Bible that were written to specific people, not to everyone, everywhere for all time. Just because God told the Jews or a specific person to do something doesn’t mean we have to. Sometimes God said He would bless someone, this does not mean God has to bless you in the same way. The Bible records things for us, but it is not a menu for us to order from or a law book to live our lives by. Another reason why I have problems with rules is that Christians elevate them above a relationship with God. The focus is not on loving God and people so life is reduced to following rules and keeping track of who follows them best. Christ died because we couldn’t follow them. Now we should be able to relax and live life but instead we get paranoid about following rules. It isn’t that I am against following rules. I am not saying people should be able to do whatever they want and get away with it. I am saying if you focus on following all the rules you are a Pharisee. The way I look at it is God gave people rules to follow like parents give children rules to follow. When they are young they need guidelines to protect them. When they grow up they aren’t still in the same kind of relationship. When the child grows into an adult it is more of a friendship. It is about love and respect, not rules and regulations. If a parent still bosses their adult child around like they were four years old it is not a healthy relationship. Christ came and said, “No longer do I call you slaves …but I have called you friends,” Another example is a marriage. When people get married there are rules about fidelity and people follow this because it is the rule, but what happens after 30 years of marriage? Do they stay faithful because they have to follow the rules or because they love each other? From what I’ve heard from people that have been married longer than I have they love each other more than when they first got married. I’ve heard one man say they didn’t even know what love was. Now after being married so long they love each other enough to do the right things. Not because there are rules to follow. Follow whatever rules you want, but do it out of love and relationship with God, not because you have to. Anything else seems fake to me.

“God, please bless the homos” Added to and edited version!

So my dad and I recently had a fight. Normally it is about my views verses his views. I’m pretty sure they think I am a heretic. He showed me a YouTube video of Christians praying against homosexual marriage at some rally or something. The Christians were also singing a hymn and the gay people didn’t really like either so they started yelling and telling them to leave. It was quite a violent reaction. The Christians had to be escorted out by police. This was their proof that Christians were not being tolerated etc. I had a problem with this video and was dumb enough to share my problems with my dad. I don’t remember all the discussion points because it became quite heated but I’ll try to hit as many as I remember. I asked the question why were the gay people so angry at the Christians. It is because they see them as hating them. Of course a good Christian can’t hate so they won’t admit that but to the gay people it looks the same. They can’t see the separation in, “ love the sinner hate the sin” when Christians are praying against them. Christians attack the lifestyle and you can’t attack the lifestyle without attacking the person. They say they don’t hate the homosexuals but it is hard to tell. I have been in church services and I have heard how Christians talk about gay people. It usually isn’t in a positive light. How can we say we love them if we call them names or make fun of them? It seems like a mixed message… I asked my father how he would feel if people started picketing his business and tried to shut him down. (We have a costume/magic/tuxedo business by the way) There are some Christians who have problems with magic even though this is the sleight of hand variety and not the animal entrails kind. What if some well meaning Christians thought we were spreading witchcraft and evil and we can’t be polluting the people’s minds like that so they tried to get us to shut down. What if they tried to pass laws to run us out of town? They picket our store; silently pray against us. Form a circle around the store and pray to God we would close our doors. How would he feel? He had little to say… One of my problems is with Christians who try to pass stupid laws like this. They are trying to ban gay marriage and I tried to ask my dad “to what end?” of course he couldn’t answer this. I doubt he knew. I asked what they were trying to accomplish. If they ban gay marriage will they stop being gay? Will they stop fighting and put down their signs and find the nearest person of the opposite sex to marry? Will they see the light and become Christians? Of course not. The only thing it will accomplish is it will make them hate Christians more. The fact that they hate them now was just proof that the Christians are right. To me it just said the Christians gave them good reason to hate them. Doesn’t mean the Christians were right. I asked him if Jesus would be in that picket line with the Christians. He said yes and I couldn’t control myself. I laughed a mighty, “B******t!” I couldn’t imagine Jesus praying AGAINST anyone. It doesn’t look like love. My father said it was love and it doesn’t matter what it looks like. Back to the hypothetical magic protesters, the people that would picket our store might say they have the best of intentions for us. They say they care for us and the people that we damage with our witchcraft. They are just showing it by fighting tooth and nail for our destruction. Would they be holding signs saying, “You are going to HELL!”? What love they have! I see Jesus having dinner with these “sinners”, being their friend, loving on them, not picketing them and praying against them as strangers. There’s a point I didn’t think of till after… How did the sinners of Jesus day respond to Him? If these Christians are acting like Jesus sinners should respond likewise to Christians right? Of course the sinners of Jesus day hated him and yelled at him and fought with him… Oh wait! The sinners were his friends! He hung out with them and ate with them! Jesus was accused of being a sinner because of the people he hung out with and his reputation of being a glutton and a drunk! If Jesus were here today he would be accused of being gay or at the very least a gay supporter! How did Jesus treat the people who followed all the rules? He yelled at them and called them horrible names. (Matthew 3:7, 23:13-15, 23:25, 27,) He brought up that homosexuality is a sin but the times it is mentioned in the Bible it is often right next to things Christian do all the time. In Leviticus it is right in there with things like eating shellfish and cutting the edges of your beard, or touching the skin of a dead pig (football) or eating meat with the blood still in it or wearing clothes of two different materials among lots of other things. Why is homosexuality any worse than gluttony or greed? Why aren’t Christians picketing buffets and shopping malls? I asked him how many times Jesus mentions homosexuality. He didn’t know. He says he believes in his precious Bible and he doesn’t know. I told him not once. He said God hates it and we should hate the things God hates. I agree, but there are far more things than homosexuality. A quick word search of the Bible shows that God hates cross dressing. Yet we have helped several people in our own store dress up like the opposite sex. Sometimes for fun and sometimes they really were cross dressers. My fathers own son and daughters, (my siblings) have dressed up as the opposite sex and taken pictures in his store for fun and the only problem my father had was that they made a mess. And what about divorce? We will admit adultery is a sin but divorce is ok. It is unfortunate but still acceptable. When Jesus himself says ,“He answered, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.’” Mark 10:11. I know prominent members of my former church who have divorced and remarried and now have positions in the church. I don’t know the whole story and I am not judging anyone because I believe in grace, but when they pick something like homosexuality to damn someone and ignore their own damning sin it looks like the very definition of a double standard. If they have divorced and remarried they have committed adultery and by these Old Testament standards they hold they should be put to death. It’s a good thing we have the story of the woman caught in adultery when Jesus says those precious words, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Christians might say that the homosexuals are not repenting from their sin but maybe it’s because they haven’t met Jesus yet… My father also said you couldn’t be a homosexual and be a Christian and I asked why you could be a glutton or be greedy or a liar and still go to heaven? Every Christian is one or another and yet these are acceptable. These are good sins. He said you couldn’t continue to sin and be saved. I think I’ll stand on grace because I wouldn’t make it otherwise. I asked him if he knew why Sodom was destroyed and he didn’t know. Again it seems like he doesn’t even know his Bible. Ezekiel 16:49-50 ” ‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” Now homosexuality could be one of these detestable things, but if it were so important wouldn’t they mention it by name and maybe leave out “overfed” or “Did not help the poor and the needy?”. These sins seem familiar… It tears me up inside to look into the eyes of my father and those like him and realize that he doesn’t care about “love” he cares about “truth” whatever that is. He thinks that homosexuals need to know “you are going to hell”, not Jesus. True or not shouldn’t our heart be broken? This reminds me of a quote: “Sometimes in an effort to remind people of the cost of the cross we withhold grace until we are sure they understand their sin but it’s in the giving of our grace that we remind people to go to Jesus to find their own. People understand their sin without our help, it’s grace that they need help understanding.”-Youtube video “Finding grace” Why stand on the side of condemnation and being “right” rather than love? Why do we think we can condemn sin when the one who NEVER sinned didn’t condemn (John 8 3:17)? Still doesn’t if I’m not mistaken… I am not saying homosexuality is a sin or not. It probably is but my point is who cares!? It isn’t about this being a sin or not because all sins get you the same death. The sin of lying will condemn the homosexual just as much as homosexuality. You can change all the laws you want and it might get people to act more Christian but it won’t make them more Christ-like. Christ said it was all about the heart. He preached that if you have anger and hatred you have the same spirit of murder. If you have lust it is the same spirit as adultery. If we change the laws so no homosexual can be married or no one can get a legal abortion they might act a little better so Christians don’t freak out but the hearts will be the same. To borrow the phrase “render unto Caesar” maybe we should focus less on politics and more on people. I am under the opinion that Christians should vote and have their say but to get overly involved in politics seems like this world is our home. Get involved in people’s lives, not bills and amendments. What would Jesus do? As the tired phrase goes… Would he pray against the homosexuals? Would he start with, “God, please bless the homos”?

“God, please bless the fagots” Original and unedited version!

So my dad and I recently had a fight. Normally it is about my views verses his views. I’m pretty sure they think I am a heretic. He showed me a YouTube video of Christians praying against homosexual marriage at some rally or something. They were singing and the gay people didn’t really like this so they started yelling and telling them to leave. It was quite a violent reaction. The Christians had to be escorted out by police. This was their proof that Christians were not being tolerated etc. I had a problem with this video and was dumb enough to share my problems with my dad. I don’t remember all the discussion points because it became quite heated but I’ll try to hit as many as I remember.
I asked the question why were the gay people so angry at the Christians? It is because they see them as hating them. Of course a good Christian can’t hate so they won’t admit that but to the gay people it looks the same. You can’t separate love the sinner hate the sin when they are praying against you. Christians attack the lifestyle and you can’t attack the lifestyle without attacking the person. They say they don’t hate the homosexuals but it hard to tell. I have been in church services and I have heard how Christians talk about gay people. It usually isn’t in a positive light. How can we say we love them if we call them names or make fun of them? It seems like a mixed message…

I asked how would he feel if people started picketing his business and tried to shut him down. We have a costume/magic/tuxedo business by the way. There are some Christians who have problems with magic even though this is the sleight of hand variety and not the animal entrails kind. What if some well meaning Christians thought we were spreading witchcraft and we couldn’t be polluting the peoples minds like that so they tried to get us to shut down. They tried to pass laws to run us out of town. They picket our store, they silently pray against us. How would he feel?

One of my problems is with Christians who try to legislate stupid laws like this. They are trying to ban gay marriage and I tried to ask my dad “to what end?” of course he couldn’t answer this. I asked what they were trying to accomplish. If they ban gay marriage will they stop being gay? Will they stop fighting and put down their signs and find the nearest person of the opposite sex to marry? Will they see the light and become Christians? Of course not. The only thing it will accomplish is it will make them hate Christians more. Now the fact that they hate them now is just proof that the Christians are right. Uh huh. Yeah sure. I asked him if Jesus would be in that picket line with the Christians. He said yes and I couldn’t control myself. I laughed a mighty, “Bullshit!” He was angry at that. I shouldn’t swear in front of him but as they say, “I learned it from watching you!” I couldn’t imagine Jesus praying AGAINST anyone. Doesn’t look like love. I see Jesus having dinner with these “sinners”, being their friend. Loving on them, not picketing them and praying against them as strangers. There’s a point I didn’t think of till after… How did the sinners of Jesus day respond to Him? If these Christians are acting like Jesus sinners should respond likewise right? Of course the sinners of Jesus day hated him and yelled at him and fought with him… Oh wait! The sinners were his friends! He hung out with them and ate with them! Jesus was accused of being a sinner because of the people he hung out with and his reputation of being a glutton and a drunk! If Jesus were here today he would be accused of being gay or at the very least a gay supporter! How did Jesus treat the people who followed all the rules? He yelled at them and called them horrible names.
He brought up that it is a sin but the times it is mentioned in the Bible it is often right next to things Christian do all the time. In Leviticus it is next to things like eating shellfish and cutting the edges of your beard. Or touching the skin of a dead pig (football) or eating meat with the blood still in it or wearing clothes of two different materials among lots of other things.
Why is homosexuality any worse than gluttony or greed? Why aren’t Christians picketing buffets and Malls? I asked him how many times Jesus mentions homosexuality. He didn’t know. He says he believes in his precious Bible and he doesn’t know. Not once. He said you couldn’t be a homosexual and be a Christian and I asked why you could be a glutton or be greedy or a liar and still go to heaven? Every Christian is one or another and yet these are acceptable. These are good sins. He said you couldn’t continue to sin and be saved. I think I’ll stand on grace because I wouldn’t make it otherwise.

I asked him if he knew why Sodom was destroyed and he didn’t know. Again it seems like he doesn’t even know his Bible. Ezekiel 16:49-50 ” ‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.”
Now homosexuality could be one of these detestable things, but if it were so important wouldn’t they mention it by name and maybe leave out “overfed” or “Did not help the poor and the needy?” . These sins seem familiar…

I am not saying homosexuality is a sin or not. It probably is but my point is who cares!? It isn’t about this being a sin or not because all sins get you the same death. You can change all the laws you want and it might get people to act more Christian but it won’t make them more Christ-like. Christ said it was all about the heart. He preached that if you have anger and hatred you have the same spirit of murder. If you have lust it is the same spirit as adultery. If we change the laws so no homosexual can be married or no one can get a legal abortion they might act a little better so Christians don’t freak out but the hearts will be the same. What would Jesus do as the tired phrase goes? Would he pray against the homosexuals? Would he start with, “God, please bless the fagots”?

Lost with a GPS

I have a GPS for my car. Why you may ask?  If you must know I am a terrible driver with an even more terrible sense of direction. My wee little niece even had to correct my wayward ways while driving her home. “You went the wrong way.” She tells me. Thanks.  Kids are too honest. “Your car is a mess”, “You smell funny”, “What’s in your hair?” Thanks Cassie. Kids do keep you honest. The reason I don’t drive well, and get lost easily, at least my excuse is, that I got my driver’s license as late as I possibly could. Like at 18 years old. I got rides everywhere. Even when I was an assistant manager at my job my mommy and daddy drove me everywhere.  I don’t know why I didn’t care about driving, I just didn’t. When you don’t drive you tend not to pay attention to where you are going, which results in a mid twenty something that has lived in a town all his life having no idea where he is. Ever. I am not proud of this but I have come to grips with it and accept it. I no longer care that people say I am a bad driver or get lost easily. Not when I have technology! I bought myself a GPS under the guise of a birthday present from my wife, who has an excellent sense of direction, by the way. The way I see it people should marry people who have opposite gifts. It’s a “two incomplete parts make a whole” sort of thing. The things I am not so good at she excels at and vice versa. We complete each other. She knows where she is going because she apparently drove out of the womb and straight to her crib without asking for directions and I still drive in circles screaming, “All the houses look the same! Who built this neighborhood?  Does that guy look familiar? I could have sworn that we came in this way! Is that my house?” She also is very tidy and organized while I try to give her purpose in that aspect, a reason to clean as it were. But back to direction…  I used to get lost all the time, but now I got this handy little device that suctions to my windshield and tells me where to go. Sometimes it tells me a little too late and I have to suddenly swing into a side street or go another block, but it usually gets me back on track. The little GPS is helpful sometimes but sometimes it doesn’t work right. Often it gets stuck at one spot on the map and won’t update to show you your current position. This often results in telling you to go right when it has always been left in the past. I almost trusted the GPS over my own instinct and past experience. Then I realized it got stuck, as technology often does, I trusted myself and still got to my destination. I now use it all the time even to drive to work or home which I do every day. I don’t need to but it’s a helpful little reminder. It does come in handy when I don’t know where I’m going, but I usually don’t need it every day. So I was driving yesterday and an analogy popped into my head. This little GPS with this map is like church. I am referring to the institution here, not the universal body of Christ on earth. It might not be right every time. It might even have the wrong map on the screen. I went to Las Vegas recently and used the GPS there and the next time I turned it on it told me I was still in Vegas! It had to reset itself to my home town. If I hadn’t have fixed it, I would have been in Caesars palace three days later calling my wife to have her pick me up! That’s how I see the church. It has got screwed up by people and institutions. It might be right sometimes but it might be stuck and if you follow it blindly instead of with your instincts and past experienced you might go the opposite direction.  Before a whole bunch of church goers yell at me and tell me the heart is deceitful above all things and all that jazz, what about the fact that that verse was written in the Old Testament to people who did not have God inside of them and now we have the Holy spirit inside of us telling us what is right and wrong and which direction to go? Might it be God telling us that something seems wrong? I used to have odd feelings in church about church and kept pushing them down. I thought to myself that church seemed useless and boring and pointless, but kept reassuring myself this whole “church” thing was Gods idea and we should do this to be good little Christians. I finally came to a different conclusion. Now I see things differently. I don’t think the church is infallible. I think it might be stuck. Often. I think the people that lead it are often well intentioned, but the problem is that power and influence gets in the way. I was almost a licensed pastor and I remember that feeling of pride and power. I was young and was about to have a bit of pull within my little community. My family was proud. Their little twenty something son was going to be a pastor. Too bad we didn’t read the Bible too well. We would have seen the “pastors” and “leaders” were more servants than masters. Pastors have so much authority in churches today that it is scary. They have influence and pull like you wouldn’t believe. The church is not built up of believers following God together but one man at the top following God while the dedicated few follow him and the rest show up sometimes. This is a body not a democracy. Too many men got in power and decided things would go better if we changed direction a bit. People start following men instead of their instincts and past experience we get lost. We end up in a Burger King parking lot calling our wives to come so we can follow them. I was really sick ok? I was tired and didn’t know where I was going. But back to the point. We have been following a GPS that has been stuck and going the wrong direction for a long time now. Churches are putting more and more money towards bigger buildings and programs that have little to do with Christ’s teachings. They build skate parks in hopes to win some skaters to Christ. All they are doing is giving skaters a free place to skate. It doesn’t change their lives it just reinforces the mentality that they deserve free stuff and can do whatever the hell they want. They build swimming pools for the community, same thing. People might hear that a church raised the money for a community pool. They might get members to go to their church, but that seems to get more tithes into that church, not necessarily more lives changed.  I heard a volunteer from a large church yesterday talk about another larger rival church and said they were actually good friends. They even got them a gift but she remarked how hard it was to get such a large church a gift. “What do you give the guy that has everything?’ She remarked. She told us they gave them a huge arrangement of flowers for their lobby. A very expensive gift, yet pointless. I’ll take the chance that I’ll sound like Judas and say, “That money could have been given to the poor!” The difference is I am not embezzling and that church sure doesn’t look like Jesus. If I remember right giving to the poor is giving to Jesus. Giving to the least of these is the same as giving to Christ. Is the “least of these” a multimillion dollar church building with a coffee shop and book store? They need flowers? Or do the poor need food?  I’d be willing to bet that if you tell a non Christian about the amount of money churches waste on buildings and salaries and programs they would probably ask what it has to do with Jesus. Outsiders seem to get it better than Christians. Has someone else got a hold of our map? Does our map have lines pointing us away from “Love your enemies” and “Do good to those that hurt you” and instead pointing us to “Nuke the bastards”? Is the destination of “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” scribbled out and instead we have our own self built mansions on earth drawn in? What happened to “this world is not my home…”? There are many specific things or “destinations” Christ called us to but the main one seems to be “love”.  Show love to each other and the strangers. How do we show love to our fellow believers? It seems that if we can’t agree on everything we separate ourselves from each other. We can’t get along if we can’t agree. It’s sad. We also rule over each other with leaders and clergy. The early Christian’s clergy were more like waiters. Now they are like royalty. I’ve heard pastors and leaders remark how blessed by God they are because the members of the church often give things to them. Is this God blessing them or is it the followers feel the need to give to the leaders? If we were living like we should be everyone would be sharing with everyone else, not just giving to the high man on the totem pole. What of loving others? There is a couple that goes to the church my wife and I used to attend. We were one of the first people to come into contact with them at this church. They are often short on money and resources, so my wife and I have given them money and gifts and rides to help them out. So has everyone else in that church it seems. They go to both services on the weekend and seem to go up to several people commenting on how they have no money or food. They are probably taking advantage of people, but it could be that they are not responsible enough and have learned to beg.  I have had countless people comment to me about this couple and their ways. The pastor has had to talk to them about them asking people for money and even threatened to announce it to the congregation to not give them any more money. Without exception it seems like everyone I have talked to about them has had a bad opinion and says they won’t give them any more money. I can’t say I blame them but I still feel sympathy for them. Not necessarily because of their sob stories, but their problems with money management, lying, and overall poverty. I still think they need help but because they don’t really deserve it no one will give it to them. Since I no longer attend that church I don’t see them anymore but I know others that do and I don’t hear about anyone is helping them by giving them the tools they need to get out from under poverty. Is this “Love others as I have loved you”? Jesus saw you and your lying, stealing, whoring ways and he still loved you! While you were a sinner he loved you. Some people can’t handle money and we shun them. It is easy to give to the missionary and the sad kids on the slide show but you never have to see them. It is harder to give to people you are sure are lying or swindling and will probably never pay you back. Isn’t that what Jesus does? He knows we are liars and cheaters. He knows that what he gives us we can never pay back. And He gives it to us anyways. This should be our destination! To show people the unconditional love we have experienced! Instead we focus on the “scum” that is “liberals” or “homosexuals” or “pro-choice”. Instead of focusing on love we focus on our hate. We are known for our hate instead of “by your love for one another.” Where have we gone? I can’t say it is all the churches fault. There are many fallible people out there and we know everyone makes mistakes. So how do we turn ourselves around? How do we get back to the right track? I think we should refocus our energies. Stop focusing on the meetings and programs and buildings. Stop trying to raise money to erect bragging rights. The church I used to attend was so proud to have a church building and a youth building and a million dollar campground completely paid for. They said it was God blessing them. Let me tell you something, you can do a lot of things in God’s name and it not be God. People sell millions in drugs without God. Did God bless this drug dealer? People profit on peoples pain and problems by selling them harmful things or promoting harmful lifestyles. Did God help them? I am not trying to compare drug dealers with churches; I am making the point that just because you have prospered does not mean God is with you. There are plenty of God fearing people that are dirt poor and plenty of bastards that are filthy rich. These buildings are going to be around after the pastor dies. He is making himself a legacy. Why can’t we sell our stuff and give it to the poor? Doesn’t that sound closer to what happened when people encountered Jesus? They ran into Jesus and said” I’m going to right my wrongs and give to the poor!” Not, “I’m going to raise some money and build some multimillion dollar buildings and start lots of programs!”  If you really feel called to “church” then go. I am not going to tell you to do something that God wants you to do, but if you aren’t sure, take a break. Don’t feel guilty just see if your GPS resets itself. Don’t ignore God just ignore religion and obligations. Stay home. Enjoy your family. Stop wearing yourself out going to several services or meetings a week. Start loving and serving the people in front of you. Instead of putting effort into taking care of a building or children in children’s church or the sound system focus on loving your neighbor.  When we volunteer in church we put ourselves in a self serving cycle that is totally unnecessary. Think about it, if we didn’t have service would we need people to watch our kids? Or people to play instruments? Or people to run sound? Would we need ushers? Or meetings?  Or curriculum? What if we stopped doing all the unnecessary things and did what is necessary? Which is?  To love. We would love others and it wouldn’t be a chore it would be natural. It would flow out of us instead of us being pulled and guilted into it. How many more people would be loved because we simply came into contact with them? Instead of just helping the few kids in Sunday school who have heard it all before.  So again I urge you, reset your GPS. Focus on the destination of love, and enjoy the ride.

A brief history of my exodus…

Here is a quick history and explanation of why I dont go to church anymore. I have said most of this before but this is more concise. To start off, I grew up in church and volunteered for everything. I feel like Paul… “A Christian of Christians” to steal a phrase. I’ve put my Christian resume on the web and it’s a long one so I won’t re post it here unless someone asks. If you haven’t seen it, i recommend it. I did everything from cleaning to preaching. Honestly i always felt a little weird about church and youth group. I always felt we should be doing more or that we were wasting time. I didn’t let myself feel this way but eventually i started “thinking outside the box”. I think the first thing that sparked a change was reading, “The irresistible revolution”. Shane Claiborne wrote it and he said things that blew me away. Very different thinking, yet he still “went to church”. I remember reading things that were not really talked about in church and thinking, “Wow! he is right!” Basically he was saying we dont really look like Christ. He had to go see mother Theresa to “see a Christian”. This guy wasn’t a Christian because he went to church, he was a Christian because he did Christ like things. He hung out with the homeless and kids in war ridden countries. This was amazing. When i talked to my youth pastor about the book and his actions he said he couldn’t see Christ hanging out with the homeless and helping them like Shane did. I was flabbergasted. It was the most Christian thing i had ever seen and this pastor was telling me Jesus wouldn’t stand up for homeless people! I wanted to learn all i could and one book led me to another. Now before people think i am led astray with every book out there let me say that i read alot and they are often conflicting views. Even the “Anti Church” books dont agree. Some of the books i’ve read tell you to stay in “church” some say go to a “house church” and some suggest not going to any meetings if you don’t feel led. I dont follow everything i read, i take truth from everything. If i learn something i dont care where it comes from, i will learn something and move on. I am sure Christ learned something from Satan after being tempted. He was learning from evil but it was a lesson. He learned what Satan wanted to do, he learned his motivations. I’ve learned something from people in many denominations, people outside “church” and even atheists. What pushed me over the edge was “Pagan Christianity”.  The book outlines many church practices and where they came from. It showed me that the “church” as we know it is unnecessary. I am using the word “church” as the institution and building and system here, not people. Christians hold so many traditions as sacred and i started to wonder why. Especially because they were NOT in the Bible. If this was our guidebook why were we taking notes from ordinary men in history. People had ideas on how to streamline things and we go from people exited to get together and talk about Jesus to a dry meeting or a performance or concert or lecture we MUST go to to earn our salvation. This didn’t seem right. Besides the fact that many Christians do things their own way and not the Bibles way and swear up and down they do it the “good books” way. This really turned me off. So much so that i hesitate to call myself a Christian anymore. I often refer to others as Christians but not myself. Not because of what it originally meant but because of what it has turned into. Now Christianity is totally different from what it was 2000 years ago. Why should i associate myself with such a bastard? Anyways that’s my reasons, if i left anything out please ask quesions!

Easter

So Easter just came and went. This is the first Easter in my life that I did not go to a church service. I wasn’t one of those people who only went on Christmas and Easter either. I went several times a week for a practice or service or meeting or group or something, until last year when I dropped out. I won’t bore you with the details but basically it boils down to the fact that I don’t see the institutional system called “Church” to be what it was supposed to be. I still love Christ I just hate the religion that stole His name. So I quit. I went to the same church for as long as could remember but the first Easter that came along after I quit I went to a service to my in-laws church. The pastor there eventually left after he started preaching some wacky ideas about not needing the building and how most of this Christianity is traditions and not in the Bible. I knew I liked him. As soon as I heard about some of the stuff he was preaching I knew he was out the door. Religious types can’t stand that kind of talk. Any ways, this Easter I wasn’t going. Ironically enough it’s against my religion. Not the celebrating the risen Lord and Savior part but the hierarchy part and the religious obligations part and the total lack of real relationships in exchange for fake three hour relationships part. To me it is a service. It is a performance. It is an act. It is on par with going to a lecture or concert or drive through religious theme ride. Which is fine I guess but when people call it “church” and it pisses me off. It is not the church the Bible talks about. We’re supposed to meet together anywhere and share things and talk and have a relationship not a stuffy meeting where only a couple people are talking. If I want to go to a concert I’ll go to a concert. If I want to hear a speaker I’ll go to a lecture. If I want to see play I’ll go to a play. It’ll be cheaper. They don’t ask for 10% of my income. Now how do I get off this soap box? Ah here we go…a day or two before Easter my father, who is entrenched in institutional Christianity, asked me if I was going to “church” on Easter. I asked him why I would. Why would I go on the busiest church day of the year to hear a sermon I’ve heard twenty some odd times when I refused to go any other Sunday? If you’re smart you don’t go to Wal-Mart on Saturday afternoon, you go to Wal-Mart on a Tuesday at 12:30 P.M. with your mother in law. There’s more parking and less kids playing in the aisle. Besides that, what are the reasons anyone goes to Easter service? Especially people that don’t believe in Jesus in the first place. I’m not talking about atheists or anything I’m talking about the average Joe who is dragged along with his wife or mom or whatever. They don’t care one way or the other about God and would rather sleep in on Sunday or play their PS3’s . They go because they think they are supposed to. They have an obligation to go. Now the “good church go-ers” that go every Sunday will criticize this type of church go-er. There are jokes about it. They mock them. Like the church go-er is really better off. Now why shouldn’t they go twice a year? Is it because they think, “If I have to go all the time you should have to go all the time.”? Maybe. Or maybe it’s because it isn’t about church. If the average “church go-er” were honest they would say that it isn’t about a religious obligation. It isn’t that you have to do something for God to like you. If you go to “church” and don’t love God then going to “church” doesn’t do you a bit of good. I will give you that some people get something out of services and if you do I’m glad, but I could not do it anymore. Hopefully the people that stay can admit that it was for freedom that Christ died. It is ironic that we say this yet live a life of obligation and slavery to a system or building or preacher. If we are truly free couldn’t we not go to a “church service” if we so desired? Or are we as free as the governing body of the “church” let’s us? That doesn’t sound free to me. This reminds me of an illustration using dogs. There are the dogs you chain up and fence in and they stick around, because they have to. They can’t get out. If the gate is left open or they get off their leash they are gone. They run and they never come back. Then there are the dogs that don’t have a leash and don’t have a fence. They sit on the porch and stay with their master. Even if they leave they come back and you know who the dog belongs to. If the dog that escapes never comes back was it ever yours in the first place? Or was it your slave? Was it your prisoner? The Institutional church often puts up invisible barriers of guilt and manipulation. They make you think that the people that are at every service are more Godly. This might be the case but it has nothing to do with the amount of services you go to. They make you think that if you volunteer more then you are a better Christian, but from someone that’s been there it’s more often true that the people that volunteer more often hate being in service. Best way to get out of sitting through a boring sermon is run the sound or watch some kids or be an usher. They make you think that good little Christians go to church yet they don’t mention that lots of people go to church aren’t Christians and lots of people who don’t go to church are very strong Christians. They will dismiss Christians that don’t go to church as rebellious. Maybe they are considered rebellious because they are the ones in charge. They are the head of the church. But wait… Isn’t Christ supposed to be the head? Like it or not the modern day institutional church is a man made system that evolved from the early church. The early church was organic and relational and real. The modern church has turned into a religious circus. A system. A service. An institution. It is mechanical. Dead. It moves but it is not alive. It functions but does not breathe. It is the difference between a real flower and a silk one. They look similar but are very different. The Church is the people. We’ve turned it into a building. It’s now an event. Not a life. We want everyone to come to Christ so we water things down until they all can be called “Christians”. Then we complain that there are all these people calling themselves Christians yet doesn’t act like it. We created them. These are the ones who come on Easter and Christmas. Then we criticize them… I say “screw it”. “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. If I go to “church” every Sunday then I should help more. If I help more then I get burned out and people say you work too hard and should let others do it. Then you realize you have another job in which you don’t get paid and you have no real relationships. When you realize this they criticize you for not working harder at building relationships. Maybe if we didn’t have to do all this work for a service or meeting… If I go on Christmas and Easter then I am definitely not doing enough and I should be ashamed for not fulfilling my obligation of church going. And if I don’t go to any service ever then I am a heathen and don’t have a relationship with God. Whatever you say… At least if I’m a heathen I get to sleep in and play my PS3 if I want to…

Sin Whore

Sin Whore intro

This is called “Sin Whore”. I got most of the ideas from Ezekiel chapter 16, and after reading it, it really struck me. I know it is to Jerusalem but I can’t help but see the parallels between us as Christians and God. God has taken us while we were sinners (Romans 5:8) and made us into something beautiful, and whenever we sin and fall we spit in His face and mock Him and ignore what He has done for us. He has given us everything and we in turn give him heartache. If we really knew the pain we caused Christ every time we failed would we hesitate? (Hebrews 6:6)

I wanted to keep some things vague because this is not specifically about sex as  Ezekiel 16 is not about sex. I could have used specific acts or sins, but I wanted to keep it somewhat universal in its examples. You can put anything in place of the sins and actions mentioned in here. For example, when we bring sinful things into our lives on purpose it is like we are going to different men as a prostitute and paying them for it. So again this is about all kinds of sins we might fall into, not specifically about sex. This is about the covenant God has made with us and how we break the covenant when we sin. This is using a whore as example of our unfaithfulness to God and how faithful He is to us. She not only shows us she doesn’t believe by living this way but she tells us so. The language is strong, but so is the Bible. I wanted to write something that would convict you, and make you realize how much He loves you if you have strayed, and how grateful you should be if you have not strayed. I hope this touches you as you read it, as it has touched me to write it.

Sin Whore

You should have seen me. I was a mess. I was filthy and ragged. No one wanted me. It was as if I was thrown away, discarded. Like ordinary trash. Like an unwanted child tossed in a dumpster and left for dead. Nothing about me was appealing, or even showed potential for being anything appealing. It would have been much easier to walk past a sad piece of trash like me. I was lost, and fading. I think I was crying, but I don’t remember. From what I’ve heard I should have been dead. I probably looked like it. Left in an abandoned lot, it’s a wonder anyone found me, but someone did. He picked me up and carried me home. To His home which He made my home. I didn’t deserve being picked up, but He did. I owe Him everything. He fed me when I was skin and bones. He cleaned me off when I was covered in grime and dirt. He gave me a home and a family I’ve never before dreamed of. He’s given me jewelry and clothing and perfume and made me look beautiful. When no one thought I was worth anything or could be anything He took me and molded me into something attractive. I was made from a hunk of stone into a work of art. I was made into something I could have never even attempted to fathom. He has made my dreams come true. We were eventually married, and oh how I loved and adored Him.

But how quickly I forget. You would think I would be grateful for all He did for me, and I am, but you wouldn’t know it to look at me. If you watched me you would think I did everything on my own. I don’t give credit to Him. I act like I am a self made person. In some ways I am making myself into another person. I am not what I was. I am not what He wanted me to be. I was taught to hate evil, but yet I run to it. I know He’s right I but don’t give a damn. Or at the very least I don’t live like I believe in damnation. I have decided to take a turn for the worse. I walk the streets looking for death. I grab anyone that’s got anything to give me and I take it. I beg people to take me into their bed. I take the clothes meant for beauty and make them a streetwalker’s uniform. I’ll sell every piece of jewelry He gave me for a fix. I need my sin in all its different shapes and sizes. I use the beauty He gave me for others pleasure. They look at me with lust in their eyes and I give them anything they want. His children, no OUR children mean nothing to me. I will sell them for my desires. I will kill them for what I want. I will sacrifice their very lives so I can be free. With the money I get from all His blessings I will open up shop to give and get all the sin in the world. I will spread this franchise everywhere for my pleasure. I spread my legs and invite everyone to join me. Even some of the people who grew up in sin are disgusted by my behavior. They tell me I have no shame. I learned it by watching them, so why are they disturbed? Are they angry that the student is better then the master? The other whores are even shocked at me. What do they know? They do it for the money, but I do it for the fun of it. I want all the business my body can handle. I want every Tom, Dick and Harry in my establishment, but I don’t need their money. Hell, I might even give them something for their trouble. It’s the least I could do. I love my work after all. He would never have wanted me to whore myself to all of this, to all this greed and sex and power. If feels so good though. The feelings that come over me are almost beyond words. Why did He want me to stay away from all this? Does He not want me to be happy? Does He just want me to be happy his way? Do whatever He wants me to do and I’ll be the kind of happy He wants me to be? Screw that! Why is it always His way? My way is just as good and almost feels better. If it feels this good it has to be good, right? I HATE Him. If He were here right now I would hit Him. I would spit in His face. I would mock Him and rip a chunk of hair out of that pretty head of His. He should be lifted up for all to see and be mocked! Screw Him! God, He pisses me off! As I think of Him now the rage bubbles up till I can’t even see straight. And in that blind rage I open my eyes. I see a figure. Who? My rage begins to subside and the figure standing before me ever so still starts to sharpen up. It is Him. The figure standing there looking at me in all my filth and degradation is Him. The paraphernalia of my life of immorality is scattered everywhere. The pornographic images are abundant in this house of sin, but He looks at me. He ignores it like it’s not there. Does He not see this? This life around me I have embraced? This room that is an affront to all He’s given to me, and all He stands for? Then I realize He is crying. There are actual tears streaming down His face. He sees everything I’ve done and heard everything I’ve said and I swear He even knows what I’m thinking. He knows all this and is not yelling and is not ignoring and is not hateful towards me. He speaks quietly, but with authority and tells me I must be punished. I can tell He still loves me. I am His bride, and He needs to, no wants to do this. He tells me He must punish me, but not as a whore of old. The whores in the past were burned alive. He tells me He loves me and must dish out a punishment. I know He’s right and I cry. Not for the fear of punishment, but I know what I have done and I question why. He tells me He has remained faithful, even when I was faithless, and unfaithful with so many. He has kept His promise. He tells me He is taking me back even though He has the right to leave me. He tells me He still loves me despite all the contempt I’ve shown towards Him. “I’ll remember the promises I gave you when you were younger” He tells me, “but I’m making a new promise to you and this one is going to be for forever.” He cries some more while I run to Him and Him to me. He holds me in my wretchedness while I cry on His shoulder. I collapse in His arms and He catches me while I start to sob. He tells me with passion in His voice “You will always remember the things you have done, but I’m forgiving you, and after you see how much I forgive you, you will never mention it again.” He whispers in my ear,

“I will show you all of the love I have for you,

and it will

leave

you

speechless…”

God (probably) HATES you!

Recently a guy posted a question about God loving Satan. He was wondering if God is love does that mean He might love Satan? He said that God was immutable so God is always love.  Well before i can even think about that question another question pops into my mind. Honestly i don’t have all this straight in my head so this will be more questions than my opinion… God is unchanging, yes, but this doesn’t mean THINGS don’t change. Just like i will technically be the same person if i start hating my wife. I won’t change but my feelings might. This argument isn’t the strongest but it makes me think… Also the Bible does say, “God is love” but does this mean God loves everyone? I would have said yes but there are many verses where it says God hates as well. Specific people are mentioned as being hated in the Bible. We can bring up John 3:16 but if you look up the word “world” in “God so loved the world” it means, “of believers only”. Basically-God so loved those who believe in Him or Christians or those who loved Him that He died for them. This messes with my “God loves everybody” idea. The only reason i would have found this out is because i was curious about the “westboro baptist church” and how they could be so…off. They have many scriptures backing them up even though they are stretching things… a lot… this one thing jumped out to me. The verse we stand on, “God so loved the world” has apparently been misunderstood through our reading of the English translation. I wonder how often that happens… These “God hates fags” fanatics have listed701 passages in the Bible where God hates or does not “love everyone”. If God doesn’t love even one of these people, take Esau for instance, how can we say God loves everyone?

This has been bugging me for a while and i kept shrugging it off until he asked that question. I was reminded of the haunting question… “What if God CAN hate people?” This flies in the face of “I am especially fond of everyone”.

The only way I have found to cope with this question is my comprehension of Gods omniscience. Predestination as it were. If God knows everything He KNEW before anything happened who would choose Him and who wouldn’t. In this knowledge God chose to Love those who did not reject Him and made a way for them to get to him through Jesus. Basically, in my head, I see it as God loved everyone He made but not everyone loves Him back so the love is hindered. I hope that makes sense. Please Leave comments!

This Temple

Every week countless people go to buildings all over the world and call it “church”. I don’t doubt their sincerity and I don’t think they are necessarily doing anything wrong.  People that go to these buildings will even say, “The Church is the people in the body of Christ and NOT a building”. I find this very interesting because the more I look into the tradition of having a building for worship or a service the more I question its necessity. As for myself I have left the institutional “church” but I do not try to talk people into believing what I believe. People make their own decisions based on their own beliefs, and I know I can’t make anyone do anything. I am just pointing out my reasons and my findings on the subject.  I received a lot of information about the traditions in the church from the book “pagan Christianity” by Frank Viola and George Barna so if you would like more information I would recommend that. This however is some of my own findings and opinions on church buildings and similar traditions.

When I started to question the traditions of Christianity namely the need for a building to worship, I received loads of opposition from well meaning Christians. Some pastors and long time Christians were violently against the idea that we do not need a church building. It goes against the Bible according to them, but the more I look into it the more I see it goes against hundreds of years of human tradition and that, to them, is scary. It threatens jobs and comfort and the status quo so I understand why they are against the idea. I talked to one person from the church I was leaving and they were so angry they shook and cried and yelled and personally attacked me when I said what I believed. They later told me they had never acted that way to anyone in all their years of ministry. That says something to me. They were livid when I told them I was leaving the institutional structure of church to try and follow, in my eyes, a more biblical model. That means that person did not act with as much passion towards people who have walked away from God altogether as they did when I told them I wanted to do “church” differently. I didn’t tell that congregation that I hated them or God or that I wanted to live in sin and sleep in on Sunday mornings, I told them I see in the Bible we should be living in a closer community rather then put so much time and effort into a service or building.  I would rather spend that time and effort and money and space put to better use in serving the poor and the outcast. How would the world see Christians if instead of showing off their gaudy television studios dipped in gold and asking for more money, they sold their buildings and cars and possessions and fixed many of the world’s problems? I’ve heard a statistic that says cross-denominationally 2.6 billion dollars are spent on maintenance and upkeep of church buildings alone. I don’t know if it is accurate but what if it is even close? What if others started believing we didn’t need the buildings anymore and sold them? What if we took that money and put it towards feeding the hungry and curing diseases and getting fresh water to people in third world countries? How then would people see Christians? How many people would WANT to become a Christian after seeing that we collectively came together and forgot our differences and sold our precious buildings to serve the world? This all is speculation of course and pointless to many Christians because they believe that we should have these buildings according to the Bible.

The one verse they point out to me is

“Acts 2:46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.”

For a while I was very confused. I had read lots of research about this and many very smart people were saying we should not have these buildings because it was not intended to be this way. Jesus didn’t set them up and the apostles didn’t set them up and the early church did not set it up. Why was this verse in the bible then? Why did they go to the Temple if we are supposed to get together in homes? Then one day I actually read the Bible. I took it in context. I read on. I thought things out for myself.

In Chapter 3 Peter and John were going to the Temple and on the way in, they healed a crippled man. They started preaching Jesus and then things started to happen. They didn’t get to the next part in the song I learned as a kid. The priests and the captain of the Temple guard and the Sadducees got angry and threw them in jail. They took them out and yelled at them and said to stop preaching about Jesus. Peter and John said no, and apparently the Sadducees have a hearing problem because they just shook their finger at them again and let them go. The apostles went on healing and preaching like they said they would and the Sadducees threw them in jail again. An Angel let them out and told them to go preach in the Temple. Again. So they did. And they were beat and let go. Again. Finally it says in Acts 5:42 “Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ.” This all really got me thinking. The verse they use for legitimizing the body of Christ having a building to worship is based on this Temple. The temple they kept going to kept giving them trouble. Then I thought, “Who is this temple for?” It was a Jewish temple. Why did they keep throwing them in jail? Because they were preaching that this Jewish carpenter guy they just killed is God and he was preaching that the way you Jews do things are wrong. He told them they were missing the point! He told them to stop worrying about the rules and start worrying about people! They were all about rules and being “right”. So the question is, why would the Apostles keep going back to this Jewish temple to preach about a guy the Jews hated when they have a new religion to start; a movement to found! Then I realized. They were starting it. Romans 1:16 says “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.” They were supposed to reach out to their fellow Jews before gentiles. When they went to the Temple they were not going to church, they were on a missions trip. They were trying to convert Jews out of their Judaism and into this Christianity.

So that cleared that up for me, but what other proof might I gather to at least prove I’m not crazy in my new found beliefs?

John 2:19-21 says “Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.”The Jews replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?”But the temple he had spoken of was his body.”

I believe Jesus was talking about his earthly body in the resurrection, but I also believe it could also mean his body the church.

Col 1:24 “…his body, which is the church.”

1Cr 3:16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?

1Cr 3:17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.

Eph 2:20-22 “We are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We who believe are carefully joined together, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through him you Gentiles are also joined together as part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.”

These verses point out that we do not need a building to worship God because we are the Temple where God lives. Church people will say this as well but I would like them to put their money where their mouths are. If you truly believe we don’t need buildings to worship God why do it? Why spend all the money and time and effort?

John 4:21 says “Jesus declared, “Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.”John 4:23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.”

We can worship anywhere regardless of what it looks like. Homes, coffeehouses, sheds, wherever you are you can worship. The greater point is not that, but the fact that we should not “go to church” but BE the church. The church is the body of Christ on earth not in a building. We do not go to the house of the Lord like in the days of old. We do not have to be shackled down to the temple or the Holy of Holies. When Christ died the veil was tore away to let us worship God wherever and experience the indwelling of the Holy Spirit always. God living inside of us, not us going to God. We try to sew the veil back together and put it back up. We try to put religion back in front of us. We try to set the rules back up and follow them. The Law is there to prove we can’t follow it.

Rom 3:20 “For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.”

We must rely on Christ and not religion or ourselves. Religion is trying to get to God on our own. Going to church puts us in a mode of requirements and checklists. We go because we have to, or we go to fulfill our religious duty instead of realizing we are supposed to be living a life mirroring Christ’s. We are HIS BODY and HIS CHURCH. WE ARE THE TEMPLE. Instead of making people follow all the traditions and rules WE made up we should teach them to serve all and to act like Christ all the time. We do everyone a great disservice when we over emphasize a building or set of rules and traditions over the lifestyle we should live.

I know many will disagree with me and my reasons. I may be wrong, but for me I was making “church” a god. It was overtaking me and I did not want to live like Christ always, I was just squeezing by, by serving in the “church”. I was so busy with teaching and being on the worship team and helping with different ministries I was missing the point. Now that I don’t “go to church” I realize I am a Christian everywhere and always. I am to serve all wherever I am. It is freeing to know I don’t need to fill up my schedule with “church activities” I just need to be the body of Christ to people around me. From now on I won’t “go”, I will just be.